mentor needed, apply within

one of my neighbours was picking out a pretty little song on his guitar earlier, and it made me feel really sad and really happy to hear it. the closest i can come to describing it is home sickness - an aching chest, a crooked smile, instant familiarity and a sense of a wide distance. i was missing my old life.

aimee and emilie came over yesterday. we are all kind of in the same boat, lifewise. aimee thinks that she's going back to work in the fall but she doesn't know how. emilie has gone back to work but she is not sure that she can keep it up. me, i'm just screwed. it makes me want to swear and drink. although we drank a bottle of wine with lunch, we didn't swear. it felt good to let go a bit.

my life is confusing me. i don't know what i'm doing, and i'm really really really really tired of it. i am thirty-fucking-two and i have no plan. i'm derailed. what are my options? i need advice in the worst way.