i know!

you don't have to tell me - i get it. really i do. the only thing stopping me is me. but let me tell you something, okay?


i am formidable.

my new gear

.

i am such a lucky girl. right now this computer is letting me watch cnn, download like mad, and write my law school app... aaah! i love this machine! it is crazy!

things i've read

another snow day... good thing i have library books, because sometimes the internet just doesn't cut it *gasp!*

friday, i read lilian nattel's the singing fire. i read her first book (the river midnight) awhile ago and i think that this one is equally good. both books are really richly detailed historical novels, and they share loose themes of jewishness and sisterhood and survival. the river midnight took place in 1900's rural poland. the singing fire takes place during the same time period but in london slums. they are both gorgeous and absorbing books. i read it in a day, and dreamt about it all night.

then yesterday i picked up harold bloom's book - how to read and why. i read the preface and the prologue and then i put it down. not for me. the guy is seventy-something, and has not adapted well to the nouveau fin de siecle. he is stodgy, self-important, and unwilling to accept new forms of writing criticisms; he is very dismissive of cultural or feminist perspectives. he is an ass, but i kind of feel sorry for him and his stiff and creaking belief system that make it so easy to dismiss him as irrelevant...

today i read people and us (the magazines). they were a present from my dillie who bravely sallied forth to hunt for coffee this morning. he think that i care what happens to brad and jen. as if.

quote from the singing fire:
they sat together, the weak mother and the strong daughter. the mother wondered how she'd become so weak and the daughter how much longer she could bear to be strong. they sat for a long time, listening to the bees in the rosebushes.

quote from how to read and why:
the universities have empowered such covens as "gender and sexuality" and "multiculturalism"

quote from people:
rumors that pitt and angelina jolie dallied during filming of their upcoming action romance mr. and mrs. smith flew fast and furious last spring - and were again the talk of hollywood as news of pitt's separation spread. both have denied the affair. "if i'm sleeping with somebody, i'm not shy about it," Jolie told people in may. but several sources say pitt seemed smitten.

quote from us:
brad, 2004 - "jen is the fire we all crowd around for warmth."

don't be like the stars, gentle readers. keep your love light burning.

another photo

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Originally uploaded by slo___mo.

baby it's cold outside

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Originally uploaded by slo___mo.

this is the situation in halifax tonight, ladies. it's hard to even know what to say.

The Eve of Destruction

this article is tough, but not bitchy or hysterical. i like it when the political writers show their passion - it makes me feel warm inside, just like hot chocolate. (the obvious difference being that hot chocolate=sweet, political writers=bitter.)

Inauguration 2005: The Eve of Destruction
By Rick Perlstein, The Village Voice

http://www.villagevoice.com/news/0503,perlstein,60130,6.html

get your war on

david rees for prez, if oprah won't run.

fuck bush

happy inaugeration day, you asshole. you should be going to jail, but instead you are getting a $40 000 000 party.

dear karma: you are taking your sweet time in knocking this vile ignoramous and his gang of soulless killers into the dung heap of history. i sure do hope that you have good reason. xomo

one more thing about the party

and then i will shut up about it already. i would just like to send out some mad love to the trusting innocents who ate those brownies and then had to leave early. you guys are great! remember that it is better to have eaten and left early then to never to have eaten at all... or something like that. eh, too much coffee.

thanks

thanks!! to everyone, for coming to the party. too bad i got so crazy and couldn't deal with anyone i didn't know because the cool kids actually came but i couldn't handle it and so i just sat in the corner and said hi in a really soft voice that they probably couldn't hear over beyonce and jay-z. i hope that when i have another party the cool kids will come again, and i will be able to talk to them, and find out if they are really cool or if they just dress that way. anyway, i had fun with my brother and my sisters. you people make me feel happy and safe, even when i am supposed to be hosting a party and instead i am hiding from my guests and drinking more when i really shouldn't drink more. you guys rock!!

death ends a life, not a relationship

this quote is from brainyquotes dot com, and to make matters worse, was coined by jack lemmon, but fuck off with the cynicism! it just happens to sum up nicely how i feel about the whole death thing, okay?

you can love someone as long as you remember them, and you can think about them and talk to them and write them letters too if you want. it doesn't matter if they are dead - hey, they will probably be about as outwardly appreciative of you as they were when they were alive, if your friends/family are anything like mine! (just joking - i know you love me, and i know that you know that i love you!)

he's baaa-aack!

taylor's back, and i can't wait to hear all his commie stories from the front line.

why do i do it?

i just bought a new computer.
and new speakers.
and a new printer.
and a digital video recorder.

i hope that my visa gets lost or destroyed because i obviously do not have the self-control to deal with it. credit cards on a snowed in monday are a bad business, goddamit.

the buddy system

i think that teamwork is different than love, because teamwork is more about achieving goals and getting somewhere and love... well, love is all about the journey, man. this is probably why i don't like to refer to dillie as my partner. (actually i am not too crazy about referring to him as my lover either, but i think that could have more to do with my aversion to the seventies)

i like the idea of cooperation, of two heads being better than one, of democracy and sharing the load. teamwork is so good most of the time, because when we work together we can get so much further than we could go individually. i love that satisfying feeling of 'oh yeah, we did it!' i don't really care where the satisfaction comes from, whether it is mundane like making lunch or pushing a car out of a drift or transcendent like buying this house or teaching sammo to read. sometimes i think that it is the closest i can come to really perfectly sharing an emotion with others. it is awesome and i just love it so much.

but i guess that the darkside of this setup is that sometimes it just seems that you have farther to fall when he/she/you/i fuck up and drop the ball. hey we're only human and it was bound to happen, right? i feel a bit bruised tonight, and i am feeling the shadow of that old lonesome ache, but i am still glad to be right here.

ps - thank you.

thanks to clairey, for making me go to the gym!

and also props to collin, for working clairey's shift on saturday.

tired out and off to the races, out of gas and lost in space

sleepy_kitten.jpg
Originally uploaded by slo___mo.

today i feel like this, but i went to the gym anyway, and the library! i got four books:

How to Read and Why by Howard Bloom
Cooperative Organizations and Canadian Society
The Singing Fire by Lillian Nattel
Crossroads of Civilization by Clive Irving

i already read a bit of the 'crossroads' book. it is about persian history, something i don't know a ot about. i actually got it because jake needs it for school, but the pictures sucked me in and all of a sudden, i was reading about quarats and zoroaster and alexander and various shahs and mullahs. maybe i will need this knowledge to help jake-o with his homework, or maybe i will just store it away in my... where will i store it? in my long term memory i guess. they don't really know where/how memory is stored, do they? woh.

http://www.brainconnection.com/topics/?main=fa/memory-formation

mo_and_geetha.jpg

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Originally uploaded by slo___mo.

i miss this person a lot. i hope that i see her again soon.

i know it's only rock and roll

i'm reading chuck berry's autobiography.

"We all know booing is the expression of contempt or disapproval, but there are some levels of the expressions that one side of society may never see. Take the most elegant of productions, say a symphony. There a person will cough, or as a sign of multiple dissatisfaction, you will hear scattered little cracking noises throughout the audience that definitely would not occur during an appreciated performance. With another class of people one might hear an obviously faked clearing of a throat or the generak restlessness and stirring of the audience during the performance. Then there are the average people who pay, wishing to see their purchased product. In a polite way they openly announce their desire to hear your hit, or something they know better than what's being delivered. Or they might start moving around, visiting the john and murmuring out of discontent with the performance at the moment.
"Finally there's a crowd that intends to get what they paid for and makes it known if they don't. One might witness the standing protester who revengefully exaggerates his discontent, blatantly shouting his views of the performing artist's unpopular choice. The crowd collectively may stomp and roar so loudly that an alert producer will pull the act off and replace it with a more favored one."

people used to boo chuck berry. from this tale, i have extracted a lesson: just goes to show that there just ain't no pleasing some folks, and there ain't no good in trying.