this kid made me giggle...
FIFTY REASONS I ABSTAIN FROM SEX:
1. Having viewed many educational films and the like, penises are ugly.
2. My house is too crowded. Noise carries in apartments.
3. I don’t have enough money for an abortion.
4. I have no desire to have an internal examination (which is what every girl should get upon turning 18/ starting to have sex)
5. Planned Parenthood is in Portland- too far away and I can’t drive.
6. Kissing hasn’t been exciting enough for me to want to try anything beyond that.
7. I get cold sans clothing. Poor circulation.
8. My brother is a product of sexual intercourse. Enough said.
9. My father has many firearms and I don’t think I could have the death of my boyfriend on my conscience forever.
10. I need my energy for doing my IB homework and studying for tests. Vectors rock me.
11. Sweat is pretty gross and there are places I won’t put deodorant.
12. I’ve learned everything I need to know from the Internet, education is thus superior to experimentation.
13. Have you SEEN the unwashed miscreants that go to this school?
14. It’s undignified.
15. I like my bed springtime fresh.
16. AIDS.
17. HIV.
18. Gonorrhea.
19. Herpes.
20. Chlamydia.
21. Syphilis.
22. Latex smells gross.
23. My skin is easily irritated.
24. I have enough body issues without taking on someone else’s.
25. I have better things to do.
26. Doesn’t burn as many calories as African dance.
27. Diapers are expensive.
28. Baby food gets stuck under the fingernails.
29. Boys smell.
30. My brother doesn’t knock.
31. I prefer to sleep with my dog.
32. It’s not something that really interests me at this point.
33. I don’t love or trust anyone that much right now.
34. My grandma is always home.
35. I don’t have a job. I don’t want to use my allowance on condoms- I need lunch money.
36. Birth control pills make you gain weight.
37. Can’t drive/no car = no convenient backseat.
38. My hormones are crazy enough without BC.
39. Shots, even contraceptive ones, freak me out.
40. I’d forget to take BC pills.
41. BC patches get all gross and funky after being on you for a month.
42. I simply have no time.
43. I can’t even KISS with a straight face.
44. Too much risk, not enough satisfaction.
45. I don’t really date.
46. Too much emotional responsibility.
47. Boys are dumb.
48. COOTIES!
49. MY GOODNESS, I have a reputation to uphold!
50. It’s to my advantage to appear innocent.
1. Having viewed many educational films and the like, penises are ugly.
2. My house is too crowded. Noise carries in apartments.
3. I don’t have enough money for an abortion.
4. I have no desire to have an internal examination (which is what every girl should get upon turning 18/ starting to have sex)
5. Planned Parenthood is in Portland- too far away and I can’t drive.
6. Kissing hasn’t been exciting enough for me to want to try anything beyond that.
7. I get cold sans clothing. Poor circulation.
8. My brother is a product of sexual intercourse. Enough said.
9. My father has many firearms and I don’t think I could have the death of my boyfriend on my conscience forever.
10. I need my energy for doing my IB homework and studying for tests. Vectors rock me.
11. Sweat is pretty gross and there are places I won’t put deodorant.
12. I’ve learned everything I need to know from the Internet, education is thus superior to experimentation.
13. Have you SEEN the unwashed miscreants that go to this school?
14. It’s undignified.
15. I like my bed springtime fresh.
16. AIDS.
17. HIV.
18. Gonorrhea.
19. Herpes.
20. Chlamydia.
21. Syphilis.
22. Latex smells gross.
23. My skin is easily irritated.
24. I have enough body issues without taking on someone else’s.
25. I have better things to do.
26. Doesn’t burn as many calories as African dance.
27. Diapers are expensive.
28. Baby food gets stuck under the fingernails.
29. Boys smell.
30. My brother doesn’t knock.
31. I prefer to sleep with my dog.
32. It’s not something that really interests me at this point.
33. I don’t love or trust anyone that much right now.
34. My grandma is always home.
35. I don’t have a job. I don’t want to use my allowance on condoms- I need lunch money.
36. Birth control pills make you gain weight.
37. Can’t drive/no car = no convenient backseat.
38. My hormones are crazy enough without BC.
39. Shots, even contraceptive ones, freak me out.
40. I’d forget to take BC pills.
41. BC patches get all gross and funky after being on you for a month.
42. I simply have no time.
43. I can’t even KISS with a straight face.
44. Too much risk, not enough satisfaction.
45. I don’t really date.
46. Too much emotional responsibility.
47. Boys are dumb.
48. COOTIES!
49. MY GOODNESS, I have a reputation to uphold!
50. It’s to my advantage to appear innocent.
posted by mo | 2:04 p.m.
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